FRI JUNE, 17
NEW ORLEANS, LA
9:30am: Woke Up in India House Hostel
Got ready quick. Made PB&J sandwich and walked out the door with Hotel California blasting in my headphones!
12pm: Village Coffee then Mojo Coffee
Someone at the hostel suggested I go to Village Coffee. After a two hour walk in the hot sun I saw Village Coffee upon the horizon. I was so excited to guzzle down coffee and water, but as my sweaty palm reached for the doorknob I saw a note on the door, "Sorry We're Closed and Reopening in 2017". FML.
6:30pm: Dip in the Pool
8pm: Did Work in Lounge
10pm: Made Mac & Cheese & Chilled on Patio
I walked over with my mac and cheese and sat in-between the Australians and English. They were more educated on American politics than most Americans. In other words, "Yes, I broke one of the cardinal rules, 'Tho shalt not talk politics or religion with strangers'."
12:30am: Went to Gay Club on Bourbon Street
There was a homophobic Australian who kept calling his friend a "fagot". The gay guy repeatedly asked him to stop that. Then the other Australian called an Upstate New Yorker "old as fuck". Then that Upstate New Yorker asked if the Australian had a Napoleon Complex. I
interjected, "Sooo whose ready to go downtown?"
When we all arrived on bourbon street, the girls wanted to go to the gay bar with the gay guy. The homophobic Australian wasn't about that so he got left behind. The other Australian and I joined the girls, but when we found out there was a $10 entry fee we weren't about that either so we snuck in. We did a fist pound in excitement, but then realized how ridiculous it was for two straight guys to celebrate sneaking into a club where there were male strippers dancing on the bar and guys dry humping each other on all the television screens and throughout the dance floor.
I had a good time though. It's nice being told you are gorgeous and having people offer to buy you drinks, although I had to turn them down because "Daddy" didn't want to get their hopes up.
2:30am: Headed Back to Hostel
I told the group I'm heading back. My ass was grabbed enough for one night. As I was walking to the trolley there was a bunch of black girls twerking in the middle of Bourbon Street. That caught my attention for a bit. Once my heterosexual levels returned to normal I continued on my way.