If I was a 16 year old girl my story would make the nightly news,
Now as a disclaimer I'm only broadcasting this because she already did so. If she's going to take the fight online than I'm going to finish it!
Grab my sword! Let's begin!
I befriended a girl while I was living in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and I think she fell in love with me, can we really blame her?
While I lived there I made it abundantly clear I wasn’t interested in a relationship, but she kept trying to force it in that direction.
I was too nice.
I pushed back on her advances A LOT, but not enough. I can be confrontation-avoidant.
For example, I was so annoyed she kept texting during a movie that after it ended and she refused to apologize - I ran! I literally ran away from her as she screamed and cried after me.
I should have ended things earlier, but I felt guilty.
She had done me a HUGE favor by lending me money after Chase bank cancelled my card because of a fraud alert. It took 3 weeks to get a new card in the mail!
If it wasn’t for her I probably would have resorted to prostitution to survive.
After I left Malaysia for Chiang Mai she relentlessly called and texted me, “Am I sleeping with someone?”, “Why am I not responding?”, “Where am I?”
I couldn’t deal with the stress any longer so I said, “Sure, I slept with someone”, just so she could move on.
The way I explained it to her was that we have different life goals. She wants to get married and have kids. After all she’s in her 30’s and the clock is ticking, whereas I, on the other hand, want to travel and focus on my work. I instructed her, “Move on FOR YOUR OWN SAKE!”
Instead of moving on, she informed me a few days later that she booked a flight to Chiang Mai! At this point I blocked her.
This is when she went off the rails leaving 10-20 comments on my personal and business social media accounts under multiple alias, including on my web app, Live to Challenge, which you can check out by clicking here ;]
Eventually I called her last week and she apologized. She agreed she had no right to say those things because I hadn't done anything wrong since we were never in a relationship, but she excused her harassment by saying, "I felt hurt”.
I explained, "Just because you feel hurt doesn’t give you the right to inflict hurt."
Now you maybe thinking, “Anthony, you should have politely cut things off”, but I tried that multiple times! She refuses to take NO for an answer.
When she wants something she will often lie and manipulate her way to get it.
I saw the red flags early on with innocuous little lies, which when I pointed them out she would just laugh it off and insinuate that I was overreacting.
Now I'm a stubborn person and I thank god for that because I have seen a lot of men who will consistently cave to avoid a fight.
But then years go by and the woman grows bored by the man's indifference and/or the woman grows insecure since she knows that deep down the man is only doing things because he feels he HAS to not because he WANTS to.
I met a guy a few weeks ago who told me he doesn't like his girlfriend. He said they always fight and have nothing in common. When he told her he was miserable she said, “I rather be miserable together.”
I asked him why he doesn’t just end things? He said because she will send stuff to his parents (at this point I’m assuming dick pics), but I can’t imagine going year after year rationalizing to myself why I should stay with someone just because it’s convenient.
When I last spoke to Ms. Harassment the other day I told her I’d be open to staying friends if she behaved. After all, we had many good times hiking, partying, eating, etc…
I think that with a little meditation, exercise, reading, writing, and a kid she will level out and find contentment.
But in the meantime if you find my body floating in the Chiang Mai moat then you know who to question.
Other than that, my week was good :]
P.S. Check out my newest YouTube video, 30 Days of Podcasts | Tips & Benefits